Month 12 | Our first month back in Toronto, Canada
Where this month found me
We started this month by arriving back home in Canada — not just for a visit, but to return to our old lives while we figure out our next move…. and to work because we do need to make money again! We’re based back in Toronto, but we’ve already travelled around a little with visits to our home towns and a quick trip to a cottage near Algonquin.
Saying goodbye to the Italian coast was harder than I ever would have thought six months ago. Not just for the views, ocean dips, and phenomenal food, but for the connections we made. In the end we weren’t just saying goodbye to a place, but a small life we had built.
We’ve only been back in Canada for a month, and already there are moments when Italy feels a little like a fever dream. Stepping back into the life we had before we moved has been shockingly simple, but there are moments where I’m reminded that I have changed from the experience in ways I consider to be for the better.
Arriving & settling
When we landed, Tyson’s sister picked us up from the airport in Toronto and drove us to Kitchener where we stayed with his family for the first two nights before spending a third night with my family in London (Ontario).
After seeing the families, it was time to settle into our long-term Airbnb back in Toronto, a couple days before stepping back into the service industry. Canadian phone plans reactivated, calendars filling up quickly with plans, and our suitcases unpacked. It was almost like we had never left, despite the undeniable feeling of missing our lives — and the weather — on the other side of the Atlantic.
Finding a rhythm
The space we’re in now is a bachelor — but honestly after 11 months of living abroad together and being near constantly in each other’s space, it’s not bad! The hard part is trying to line up our schedules so we don’t disturb each other. I’m a somewhat early riser while Tys loves a good lie-in so mornings are the hardest.
I’m trying to get back to going to workout classes regularly, something I really did miss while being in Italy. My recovery time however? Much, much longer than it used to be! I was out for days after a reformer Pilates class wrecked me the other week.
One of the things I’m trying to remember from Italy is that allowing myself to enjoy slow days is perfectly fine. Going from having nowhere to be to wanting to see friends and family as much as possible all while trying to balance the down time is taking a little getting used to.
Side quests
We spent the past couple of days at a cottage near Algonquin Park with my family. It was the perfect mini-escape from being back in a big city after a year away. Fresh air, belly laughs, campfires, reading, nature — a far cry from the streets of Toronto. We also made sure to jump in the (freezing cold) lake not once, but twice.
To our friends in Italy I’d like to say: the sea was never even close to as cold as this was!
People & connection
Returning home, the majority of our free time has been filled with seeing the people we missed the most.
We’ve celebrated a few birthdays, spent time with Tys’s niece and nephews, attended the first wedding of our wedding filled year ahead, I went to The Book of Mormon after catching up with one of my best friends, and so much more.
It’s been a plan-filled month with endless catch-ups in good company and it makes being back here so much better than it would be without these people.
Exploring this place
The neighbourhood we’re staying in for the first few months while we’re back is a new home base for us both. Though we’ve been in the area countless times, it’s always been with a destination in mind. It’s so nice getting to explore and discover a new part of the city and it’s made it feel like a mini-adventure.
Reverse culture shocks
Moving abroad was full of culture shock and misunderstandings, but returning home has come with its fair share of reverse culture shocks that I never would have expected.
If you’ve ever heard Europeans say that North Americans are loud, they’re absolutely right. From private conversations held at a volume loud enough for the entire streetcar to hear, to restaurants playing “background” music so loudly you can hardly hear yourself think, I am constantly overstimulated by the noise.
Grocery stores with so many options and a lack of local/fresh options. While I did miss the ease of access and the multi-cultural choices I was so used to in Canada, there was such a simplicity in the shopping experience in Italy. No, you can’t choose from 30 different options, you get maybe two and they’re both Italian. Though the options were limited, the quality was indisputably higher. The stores here are overwhelming (and expensive). Plus, I really miss our local shop owners!
While we’re talking about high costs, let’s just say that that extends to just about everything. Your morning coffee, your dinner out, a bottle of wine — it’s all more expensive. While you are sure to find expensive options in Italy too if you’re looking for a trendy, famous spot, the locally loved favourites tend to feed you well for a fair price.
On my bookshelf
Book Club Pick: Till Summer Do Us Part, Meghan Quinn | 3.75/5
After lying about not only having marital problems, but about being married in general, Scottie gets invited to a marriage counselling camp to help fix her “marriage”. The worst part? Her boss’s husband is running it.
I didn’t love it, but I also didn’t hate it. Is it a great piece of literature? Definitely not. It is however a light-hearted summer romance with some spice that was fun to read.
Personal Read: Crescent City: House of Sky and Breath, Sarah J. Maas | 4/5
Book two in the CC series, I’m hooked and HIGHLY regretting choosing the audiobook over a physical copy for this. I love a good audiobook, but fantasy books have so much information that I just don’t digest when I’m listening like I would if I were reading.
All of that to say, Bryce’s story is exciting and if you enjoy the rest of the ‘Maasverse’ consider this your sign to pick up CC before the new ACOTAR books come out.
Small joys
To run the risk of sounding like a broken record on this post: I found so much happiness this month in spending time with the people I love who I haven’t seen in so long. With true friends it really feels like no time has passed at all.
One thing I really missed in Italy was going to workout classes. The town we were in had one small studio with very limited availability and it just didn’t end up happening while we were there. But now that we’re back, I’ve re-upped my Class Pass membership, and I’m attending a few classes a week bouncing between spin and Pilates for now. My friend just became a spin instructor and it has been so much fun riding her classes!
After a year of having to mentally prepare for every public interaction because I wasn’t confident in my Italian, I have really appreciated the ease of communicating in your first language. To anyone who has moved abroad permanently and lives in their second language almost exclusively, kudos to you!
The hard parts
While I’m happy to be home and be around all of these people I love again, I already miss Italy and the friends we made so much. It’s hard to wrap my head around the idea that our time there is over and that it was so brief. To make matters worse, we left behind 25 degree beach days to return to snow falling outside our window on the first day we were back in Toronto. It’s the coldest I’ve been all year!
Taking a year off followed by jumping right back into the service industry is tough both mentally and physically. Long shifts with weird hours spent on my feet are tough to get used to again. Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely grateful we were able to essentially spend a year living like we were retired in our late-20s/early-30s, but it’s absolutely catching up with me and my aching body!
What this month taught me
Not really a lesson per se but I think the realization that I will forever be caught between places and the concept of “home” means different things to me at different times. I feel so lucky that I was able to feel at home somewhere so far away.
Looking ahead
This coming month, we’re going to start looking at the steps we need to make for our next move. That means passport renewals, figuring out visa requirements, looking into job opportunities for our next adventure all while juggling life back home.
Read about our year in Italy…
Welcome to the 11th and final monthly update from the Amalfi Coast! Between new countries, more Campania exploring, and lots of time with friends, we tried to savour every moment. And days before we left, we finally picked up our permesso di soggiorno cards (IYKYK)!